Reflection

Do you ever feel sad around the holidays?

I do.

The holidays are for spending time with the ones you love, carrying on traditions passed down through generations, counting your blessings and reflecting on the love in your life.  But, sometimes, they can also remind you of all that you DON'T have.  They can make you reflect on your loved ones who are no longer with us, those who are not present, the changes that have occurred in your family over the years.  And this sometimes brings a sadness over me that I can't shake.

As thankful as I am for the many blessings I have in my life, for which there are many, I can not help but miss seeing my grandmother smiling in the morning sun as the children ran through the yard searching for Easter eggs.  I can not help but remember my parents before their divorce, toting around the grandchildren and laughing despite their differences.  I miss hearing my cousin's infectious laugh ringing through the spring air.  These memories, they are so strong, they are almost tangible.

So I pray, and I reflect, and I let myself feel these emotions and I own them.  They are real, they are mine, and they are perfectly acceptable.  It's okay to feel sad, even when you have every reason in the world to be happy.  The holidays are the most magical time of the year and our big, loving family is the greatest gift of all.  But, I will give myself a few moments to reflect on what I am missing.  I will whisper silent prayers for those tucked close inside my heart.  Those feelings are what keeps those memories alive, and after I'm done feeling sad, my heart will swell once more and I will emerge stronger.

So, today, I am thankful for all of the love in my life.  For the love I have experienced and the love I have lost.  Life emulates the season of spring: where there is lose, there is renewal.  We can celebrate those who are no longer with us through the birth of these beautiful new babies we have been blessed with.  We can carry on traditions and create new memories through these little lives that are just beginning.  

 We all possess the thunder of pure fury and the calm breeze of tranquility.  If it wasn't for tomorrow, how much would we get done today?  Whatever your purpose... embrace it completely.  Get lost in the clouds every now and then so you never lose sight of God's wonder.  ~Paul Vitale