Thursday, April 25, 2013


Laughing at: things my patients say.  I hear some pretty comical things throughout my
day while taking care of these sweet/sometimes crazy patients.  They can make you laugh, 
cry, grateful, and pissed all in the same visit.  Here are a few conversations I've had so far 
this week at work:
1.  "Damn, you are getting fat!!  What is your problem?!  You're turning into a real fat ass
with that big gut of yours!

I'm pregnant, Mr. ____.  My belly is getting big because I'm having a baby.
Oh, well, shit!  That baby of yours must be a fat ass, too!"
2.  "I haven't had a bowel movement in 4 days, I need you to try and dig it out of me.
That's probably not necessary.  Let's try getting you a laxative, drinking more fluids,
and eating more fiber first.
No, I'd really rather you dig it out.  I can't explain it, but I really like the feeling of
someone doing that."
3.  "I'm so glad you are here.  My last home health dropped me and I've been on my
I'm sorry to hear that.  We will try to help you in any way that we can.
Ok, cool.  Just make sure you come and see me in the morning.  I start drinking around
noon and get pretty drunk by mid-afternoon.  I'm kind of a mean drunk, too.  The last
home health didn't take too kindly to that sorta stuff."
Listening to...
"From Nowhere" by Dan Croll
"Miracle Mile" by Cold War Kids
"Sweater Weather" by The Neighborhood
"Stay" by Rihanna
"Entertainment" by Phoenix
Excited about...our new piano!!  Shawn's been dying to get a piano into our house for
years but, seriously, who can afford such a thing?  Last week, our close family friends
decided to get rid of their family heirloom piano and offered it to us at an amazingly low
price.  Shawn jumped at the opportunity and had the piano delivered before I could even
have time to say YES.  We put it right in the big open space in front of our staircase and it
looks like it was always supposed to be there.  I've been making calls to get Isabelle
started with lessons and laughing at Brees who can't walk by without banging on the keys
while singing at the top of her lungs.  I am so excited that we were able to purchase such
a beautiful piece from a family we love so much.  The memories they created on the piano
in their home will now continue in ours.

Reading...I just finished "Bringing Up Bebe" by Pamela Drukerman.  This book was a
good read but it was, in no way, earth shattering.  The methods of child rearing practiced
by the French as observed by the writer are not necessarily a "method" but more
common sense. It reminded me of the conversations I have with my mother and aunts
about the differences in mothers of my generation and the mothers in their generation.
My mother was not all up in my business when I was growing up.  She didn't worry
about engaging me, boosting my self esteem, or providing the perfect organic/paleo/
gluten free diet.  She believed in raising strong, independent children who could think
for themselves rather than have an adult rush in to solve each and every one of
their dilemmas.  If she felt like playing with us, she did.  If she didn't, then we played on
our own.  And we didn't dare walk into an adult conversation and interrupt.  There was
a saying in our family: "Children should be seen and not heard".  Meaning: do not speak
unless spoken to unless your pants are on fire or an adult has given you permission to do
so.  We were expected to eat whatever was served for dinner whether we liked it or
not.  Snacks were a treat, not an all day, everyday occurrence.  In public, we were expected
to sit quietly, mind our manners, and follow the rules.  If we misbehaved, we were
taken outside and disciplined accordingly. My mom didn't sit at the kitchen table with us
every night assisting with homework.  We went to school all day, not her.  We should
know how to complete our own homework because we should have been paying attention
in class.  My mom and aunts and their friends didn't curate our playdates.  They let us
loose outside and told us to have fun and be back before dinner.  Our imaginations were
the curators.  We had chores, our household was run on a schedule, and we knew
what consequences we would face should we not comply with the rules.  And guess what?
I grew up to be a healthy, happy, well rounded adult who, for the most part, has my
shit together.  Her "method" or lack thereof worked!  And now she just sits back and laughs
at me when I tell her about the newest trends and fads lighting up my Pinterest board.
Truth be told, my mom is French.  My whole family is, actually.  Maybe that's why they are
so ahead of the game on this "Bringing Up Bebe" hype.  Or maybe it's just that we, as
modern day American moms, just eat stuff like this up with our overpriced, Etsy
purchased wooden spoons.  We are the information generation, the moms who
constantly want to better ourselves and give our kids a childhood to write home about.
Maybe we're not so different from our moms or the moms in France than we think.  We
just like our parenting to include labels and books and studies and child psychologists
backing us up.  We like to feel as put together and purposeful as the car organizers we
just purchased on Zuilily.  I think that I fall somewhere in between my mom and
today's modern mom: I'm not quite as hardcore strict as my mom was but I'm also not
a hipster.  I try to find a happy medium, a good balance, a simple and loving way to boost
my kids to their full potential without hovering over them 24/7.  And, hopefully, we
won't screw them up too bad.  That's all any of us can ever hope for, right?

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Randalin said...

I don't know if I laughed harder at story 1 or 2. You've got to love people that just don't give a shit and say what's on their mind. I bet you hear and see this kind of hilarious stuff all the time (and thank goodness, right? Because you need some humour in your line of work).

Ashley said...

Ha!! You remember at the Safari we had this conversation? Would our parents be dragging a stroller in the rocks in 100 degree weather to see some animals and ride a tractor in the woods?!!! No, they'd say go outside!! No wonder they were serving alcohol at that family event!!! Can't wait to visit with you soon. Love you lots and I love your parental 'style'.

Vanessa said...

Wow, you have the patience of a saint to deal with those patients. Especially No. 2 (I just realized how appropriate that number is in relation to the story).

I enjoyed your take on how your mom parented vs. how our generation parents. I get so sad that I can't call my mom for advice; I have a feeling she would've been able to talk me down from the ledge several times. I KNOW that she wasn't a helicopter parent, that I was allowed freedom to explore and create and think. And yet, our generation is being fed this constant stream of "do it this way not this way" — and times have changed so much that I worry it would be considered neglect or abuse to let a child go loose without watching them with an eagle eye. Sometimes I feel like I'm being judged at the playground when I sit back and let Alexa play without interference.

Sara said...

Haaaa...oh my gosh, those patients, the digging, how do you not fall to the floor laughing?!