21 Weeks

This was such a busy week, I don't think I ever stopped moving.  We signed the
final paperwork for the refinancing of our home, finished up our taxes, started
Shawn's application process for his big return to university, made preparations for
Isabelle's school fair next week, took portraits for dance, and enjoyed an awesome weekend
in New Orleans in celebration of Belle's 9th birthday!  It was a whirlwind and I definitely
felt the stress and strain on my growing body.  My energy level is still not what I am used
to and I have to keep reminding myself that I am growing a baby, I need more rest, I have
to slow down.  I try to set small goals each week, keeping lists along the way to help me get it
all done.  If things fall by the wayside, I remind myself to move forward and let it go.  Life
with three kids will most certainly involve unfinished business and dozens of
imperfections.  The days of a picture perfect home and feeling completely put together
are over for me.  Or, at least, on pause.  During this season of my life, I have made it
my mission to embrace the beautiful chaos that is a big family, to see the beauty in the mess.

As we celebrated Isabelle's 9th birthday this week, I couldn't help but find myself reflecting
on my first born, my forever baby.  I remember the excitement and anticipation I
felt throughout my pregnancy with her: devouring every pregnancy book I could get my
hands on, sleeping in every chance I got, reveling in the miracle of my growing body and
the feeling of her kicking and squirming in utero.  We didn't find out her gender until she
was born, wanting to keep our first a mystery and enjoy one of life's greatest surprises.
This pregnancy has been a completely different experience in that there is less time for
rest and reflection, the amazement at each twist and turn has turned into a comfortable
sense of ease and pride in my body doing its job yet again.  I feel sure, confident, and at
peace rather than anxious and nervous as I did the first time around.  But one thing
remains the same: the connection, the bond, and daydreaming about who this baby will
be. That is something that never changes, no matter how many times you experience
this journey.  And to be able to go through it again with my oldest by my side, cheering
me along and celebrating with me: it makes the whole process even more beautiful.