Taming of the Shrew

There's a moment that every mother fears, a moment we all know is inevitable, we've 

read the books and heard the horror stories: the moment your child transitions from a 

sweet smelling, cuddly infant to a temper tantrum throwing toddler.  The transition 

is seamless, the progression is natural and will take place before you even realize it.  

One minute, you're rocking your lullaby baby to sleep.  The next, she's rolling around on 

the kitchen floor, face beet red, screaming at the top of her lungs because you took the 

remote control away from her.  What's a mother to do?

Brees recently discovered the power of the temper tantrum.  For the last two weeks, 

she's been experimenting with regaining control of her master plan by throwing herself on 

the floor, crying, and screaming.  The first time it happened, I found myself staring at her 

in disbelief, not wanting to believe that this day had come.  Wasn't she a chubby little

 drooler just yesterday?  Was she seriously rolling around on the floor, stomping her feet 

and playing the drama queen role?

With Isabelle, I thought the temper tantrum phase was a living nightmare.  Her 

outbursts gave me anxiety, made me feel like a horrible mother, left me running 

around frantically trying to calm and soothe her.  The louder she cried, the more helpless 

I felt.  Our energies rubbed off on each other and the tantrums were exacerbated by 

our mutual frustrations.  We were definitely working on a learning curve: the first 

baby, wanting everything to be perfect, learning to deal with the real life situations you 

can never truly prepare for until you are living through them.

With Brees, we are in a different place.  We are older, we've been through this before.  

I've grown not only as a mother, but as a person.  I've learned to have more patience, 

take deep breathes, defined my boundaries and realized when it's time to take a step 

back.  With Brees, I realize that temper tantrums are an essential part of 

human development.  They are NOT the end of the world.  They are simply her toddler 

way of trying to establish control, attempting to claim her voice and get what she wants. 

 I think it's important to understand that, to appreciate what your child is experiencing.  

It makes disciplining them so much easier when you can empathize, understand where 

they are coming from.

With Brees, I realize that we are not going to get anywhere without patience.  I struggle 

with patience daily, I pray for it, hope for it, strive to BE it.  Some days I succeed, other 

days it all goes out the window.  But I keep trying, knowing that if I can stay calm, cool, 

and collected, most situations with my children will end up being a lot more productive.  

I try to look at the big picture: what is the temper tantrum about?  Is she just 

hungry?  Tired?  Could all of this be remedied with a good snack and/or a nap?  

Sometimes, it really is just that easy.  Babies can get really out of control when they 

are hungry and tired.  I know this because I feel the exact same way.  As with every 

other part of her life, I try to meet all of her needs first, ensure she has been fed and 

changed and is well rested, hold her if she needs extra affection.

Most of the time, though, the temper tantrums occur simply because she wants 

something she can't have, she wants to go somewhere she can't go.  So, I pick her up, 

bring her somewhere different, distract her, try to get her interested in a new toy, a 

song, something to take her mind off of her naughtiness.  You can't do THIS, but 

here's something you CAN do.  And then positive reinforcements, lots of praise.  And lo 

and behold, she usually forgets all about whatever it was she just put on an Oscar 

worthy performance for.  We move on, push forward, forge ahead.  On to the next phase, 

the next life lesson.  And just when I think that this phase is so difficult, Isabelle rolls her 

eyes at me and I am reminded that toddler hood is small potatoes...

You can learn many things from children.  How much patience you have, for instance.  ~Franklin P. Jones