Late one night this week, after the girls were in bed and the house was settled, my
husband and I met in the kitchen over a few cups of tea. We caught up on our week,
gave each other reminders and discussed upcoming events. We talked about family news
and the issues that had been weighing on our shoulders. Eventually, the conversation
shifted to old times, deep feelings, the thoughts that had been dancing on our
hearts. Somehow, we began talking about a difficult time we went through early on in
our marriage, a time when we struggled and fought to make our relationship work.
My husband is what most people would consider the strong, silent type. He is
extremely sensitive, articulate, and passionate about life but he does not waste his
emotions. He is very careful about sharing them, ensuring that when he opens his heart
to you, you are experiencing a genuine moment.
On this night, at our kitchen table, talking about a time in which we struggled,
I am so sorry for all of those things I did to you.
I was wrong.
You did not deserve to be treated that way. You are so good.
I take full responsibility for my actions.
You always stand by me, no matter what. I see that now, looking back.
Your strength and your unconditional love carried me through.
I'll never be able to thank you enough.
Looking back on that time, I see what you did and who you are,
and I love you for it.
As tears streamed down my face, I thanked him for this most heartfelt apology. An
apology that was not really needed as that time in our life is a decade past. But, still, it
was something I needed to know, to hear, and it meant the world to me.
He asked me why I was crying, didn't I already know those things? He was amazed
that those words could mean so much to me. He was sure that I knew them to be
Sometimes, as women, we need to hear it. We need to hear you say those words. To
witness your vulnerability as you open up your heart and bare your soul and stand up.
I've always known those words to be true, but to hear them come from the mouth of the
man I love made me feel like I could dance across water.
My husband and I were brought closer that night because of those words, that moment,
the hour at the kitchen table over a few cups of tea. We put work into our marriage that
we do not always have the courage to do. And that is what it will take, for the rest of
this lifetime, to continue loving one another. Admitting wrongs, making them right,
staring each other in the eyes and saying the words that need to be said. Such is the
beauty of the journey of marriage. Humility, patience, and love.
All over a few cups of tea.