Just Let it Go

Happy weekend!!  Lounging around this morning, enjoying time together before we start our day.  But, I wonder, how can two little girls, one of whom is limited to rolling from one side to the other, create this:

They seem pretty unfazed by the chaotic setting.  Oh, how the times have changed for this former-OCD Mama...

Children fill up our lives in more ways than we could have ever imagined.  They fill our hearts with love, our dreams with hope, and our homes with more crap than people of such small stature should really need:)

New Starts

Welcome to Soul Singing Liv!  I've just moved my blog from Wordpress to Blogger and am so excited about this new space.  Many, many thanks go out to Chelsey and Jhen, two very talented ladies, for making this space so beautiful!!  I am still in the process of moving some of my posts and features so please be patient as we complete the process.  

Peace and love, Liv 

Hospital Story of the Week

I had the pleasure of caring for a very wise and feisty 84 year old woman today.  She is a very sick little lady.  Her heart has simply grown tired and can no longer support the body she so vivaciously inhabits.  Doctors filed in and out of her room all day, poring through her medical records, scratching their heads and searching for an answer to heal her ailing body.  They gave her options, made predictions, spoke truths that brought tears to her grown childrens' eyes.

I stood next to her bed as she carefully pulled herself up, looked around the room, eyes fixed and determined.

"I am ready."

She said it with so much conviction, so much inner strength.  They argued with her, of course.  It is human nature to want to keep the ones we love here with us.  But she was so sure, so confident.

"I've lived on this beautiful earth for 84 years.  I've spent my life beside the man I love.  I've raised three beautiful children and watched as they birthed their own.  I've loved and cried and laughed and prayed.  My life is complete.  I'm ready for rest.  I lie here today surrounded by my family, knowing that I've lived a good life.  I did everything I could to make it the best life it could be.  What more could any person ever ask for?  I am a blessed woman".

I spent the rest of the day replaying those words in my head.  What a lesson to be learned.  Live your life to the fullest: what does that really mean?  Something different for each of us.  And all that we can strive for is to figure out what that something is.  And make it our reality.  I can only pray that someday, when my time nears, I have lived my life so fully, so amazingly big, that I have chased all my dreams and conquered all my fears, erased all regret and accepted all that I am, loved with every ounce in my being and felt that same love back, that I can feel confident in saying,

I am ready.

A Happy Happy Birthday

 My Dearest Isabelle,

It is hard to believe that seven years have already gone by.  Seven years of the most fulfilling and unconditional love.  You have blessed our lives beyond belief, brought so much light into our worlds.  You constantly amaze us with your wit and insight.   You are such a kind hearted soul, so sensitive and full of love.  You inspire us to be better versions of ourselves and make our lives so full.  We thank God everyday for blessing us with such a special little girl.

I have spent this day reflecting on that life changing moment seven years ago when the nurses laid you on my chest for the first time.  The first time I heard you cry, the first time our eyes met.  I can remember every detail of that day like it was yesterday.  One of the most amazing days of my life.

And here we are, seven years later, and our relationship keeps growing and the memories keep building and it just gets better and better.  Our long talks in the bath, snuggling on the couch, reading stories in bed, playing under the trees.  You are truly a joy to be around.  Thank you, my sweet girl, for all that you are.  Happy happy birthday!!!

Love, your proud Mommy

Wordless Wednesday

Love

Working this weekend and boy howdy are we busy!    Doesn't stop me from calling home to check on my girls a hundred times, though.  They spent the day with their grandmother and enjoyed the great outdoors.  Isabelle helped cook supper and Brees enjoyed all the spoiling.  Whenever I get sad about being at work and missing my littles, I remind myself how lucky we are to have so much help from family.  What a blessing for our girls to spend the day in their grandmother's kitchen, swinging on her porch, listening to her stories.  My grandmother took care of us when my mom worked and I have the sweetest memories of our days together.  Though I missed my mother and flew into her arms as soon as she got home, I enjoyed my time working with my grandmother in her garden and helping her feed the chickens.  As working parents, all that Shawn and I can hope for is for our daughters' days to be full and happy, even when we are gone.  And to receive sweet text messages such as these to keep us going though the day:

I showed this picture to all of my patients today.  Proud Mama.

Progress

I mentioned in a previous post that we were having Isabelle evaluated for ADHD. We have been engrossed in this process for the last two weeks and today is the first time that I feel ready to come up for air. After much prayer, patience, and faith, we have come to a point of peace and are ready to move forward.

The first step was to have her hearing rechecked. She failed her hearing test at school last month and the doctor felt it necessary to send her to an audiologist to rule out hearing loss. We went to see the referred audiologist and they did several different exams on her. They were extremely thorough and explained each test to us in detail before administering. She passed with flying colors! Step One: CHECK.

The second step was to complete "homework" given to us by the behavioral specialist referred to us by our pediatrician. I did some research on her before our appointment and was pleased with the testimonials I heard from her patients. We were given detailed surveys to fill out before our first appointment: one for Shawn, one for me, and one for Isabelle's teacher. The surveys covered a variety of topics centered around attention span, social skills, and over all attitude. We completed them as honestly as possible. Step Two: CHECK.

The third step was an exam performed by the behavioral specialist. She did a complete head to toe physical assessment on Isabelle. She then asked her a ton of questions regarding her home life and school habits. She asked us a lot of questions as well, some of them even asking about how she was as a toddler. What I liked the most about this doctor was her overall vibe. She was so kind, so respectful. She spoke to Isabelle in the most warm and loving way. There was NOTHING intimidating about this doctor's visit. It was just a nice conversation. Step Three: CHECK.

After some deliberation, the behavioral specialist informed us that she does NOT think that Isabelle has ADHD. However, she feels that she is borderline ADD. And by borderline she means that it is very difficult to diagnose a girl of her age. In fact, most girls her age with ADD go undiagnosed because their symptoms are harder to read than little boys. She also thinks that Isabelle has some anxiety issues that need to be addressed and are probably the root of some of her problems in school. Diagnosis: CHECK.

Now, what are we going to do about it? First off, we have a tutor coming once a week to our house to help her in her weaker areas. Her teacher is working directly with the tutor and sends her work that needs to be reviewed, advices her on topics Belle is having trouble with, and gives her a lesson plan of what they are covering in class. This is so exciting to me! Not only is she getting extra attention from an educator, but these two influential people are working together to make the program that much more effective! Isabelle LOVES her tutor so far and really seems to enjoy their time together.

Second, the doctor put her on a non-stimulant medication called Stratterra. Of all the ADD drugs out there, I feel pretty good about this one. Since it's a non-stimulant, it won't make her sedated or zombie-like. We don't want her to lose her spirit, we just want her to learn to use it more productively! This particular med is also very effective with people who suffer from anxiety and thus a good choice for her. Shawn has taken ADD meds for the last few years so we were pretty aware of what side effects to look for. She was a bit tired the first three days and didn't have her usual hearty appetite, but those symptoms have subsided as the first week has passed. She seems to have gotten her natural energy back and is eating normal again. This medication takes a while to really get into the system, so I'll report back as we start to see results.

And third, the behavioral specialist gave us lots of behavioral modification techniques to try at home. Reward charts, goal setting, time limits, etc. We have already been implementing some of these and she enjoys them immensely. She is a goal oriented person and accomplishing tasks makes her thrive.

So, here we are. My emotions are still on edge about all of this. You give birth to these perfect little creatures and you have no idea what life will bring. You just want your children to be happy and healthy, to have everything in life they could dream of. And that's what we want for her. We want her to have every opportunity to be everything she can be. And so we will move ahead with this new plan, this new outlook, and we will give her every tool she needs to succeed. Because she can do anything, be anyone. Because she is loved.