The Things I've Learned: We Are A Team

One of my intentions for our family is for us to be a strong and fully connected unit, a team as much as we are blood relatives.  I want my husband and children to feel that they are a part of an unstoppable team and that, together, there is nothing we can't accomplish.  We remind each other of these values often, encouraging each other, reassuring one another.

You're going to be okay because we are here for you and we'll always be here for you and we love you no matter what.

Easier said than done sometimes.  Expectations can cripple us and keep us from our true place of happiness and peace.  The need to control situations we have no control over, the desire to change a person to fit some unrealistic mold that we think they should fill.  It has taken me many years to not just understand the need for grace and compassion with my family but to practice grace and compassion with my family. To look at each member of my team as the beautiful, God given individual that they are. Each one of us was placed here with their own set of gifts, talents, and attributes for a distinct purpose.  None of this was an accident.  What one person lacks, the other soars in abundance. Because of that, we have the power to lift each other up and carry one another through the dark and difficult places. We have the joy of celebrating alongside one another through our greatest triumphs.

My children need to understand that the concept of connection and teamwork means that we are not, in fact, always treated equally.  There will be times when one person gets more attention, one will excel while the other fails, life is not always fair.  The baby gets held more, the ten year old has more activities, the toddler's discipline is a little more lenient to accommodate a challenging cognitive developmental phase.  The measure of time, privileges, and accolades is not equal to the measure of love or devotion.  It just IS.  We do what we can and what we need to do for the person when they need it, period.  There is no room for jealously or selfishness here: those are irrational emotions that weaken our spirits and take away from the beauty of what we have.  And I remind my family often: if you need more, just ask.  Don't be afraid to tell the people that you love that you need a little something extra.  There is no shame in that.  I don't always read the cues correctly and sometimes I miss out on a person's cry for more.  Show me a little compassion for THAT and just come out and tell me, in the best way you know how.

Family is the safe zone, the place you can always call home.  We should be the landing zone for each other, the reliable and the constant.  For all of the times that we will fail each other, I hope that we more than make up for in hope and love.  I hope that these two sisters and this little brother always support each other, believe in each other, and hope for the best for one another.  And I hope that they know that Shawn and I will always be here, loving them and accepting them for whoever they may be.