Setting The Example

There are days when I feel like nothing I am doing is enough: I can never fulfill my
own impossible expectations for myself.  Am I spending enough time with my girls,
stimulating them, inspiring them, showing them enough love?  As the days stretch ahead
of us, the week seems like one long balancing act.  Am I caring for my husband with
patience and love, lifting his spirits and reassuring him that the load he can no longer
carry is safe and sound on my shoulders?  Some days, I feel like all we do is talk about
bills and chores and logistics.  Am I taking care of my home and maintaining the scared
space that nurtures all of our souls, serving as the foundation for which we all feel
grounded?  Lately, when I look around, all I see are little corners begging for my attention
to clean and organize.  And so it goes: my own personal internal battle waging on with
fierce intensity, shaking me to my core as I wonder whether or not I can give enough love
and attention to those who so surely deserve it.

Let's face it: as women, we very rarely hear the words, "thank you".  We are not
often recognized for the efforts we so willingly put forth, the daily workings of our world
lost in the precious harmony of family life.  But, just as I think that no one is watching,
that I am not enough, that I am always slipping behind in my multiple roles, someone
surprises me.

On Saturday, stuck indoors during a thunderstorm, our family gathered in the kitchen for
a pizza dinner.  As I zipped around the kitchen, filling drinks, grabbing napkins,
and replenishing plates, Shawn called us all together to say grace.  We bowed our heads
and listened as Daddy led us all in prayer as he does before every meal.  My attention
shifted as I heard him laugh and I looked up just in time to see Brees saying her very
own prayer: hands clasped together, head bowed, and a smile beaming across her face
as big and bright as the sun.  As Shawn said his final words, laughter still on his lips, Brees
let out a loud "Thank you!!!" and finished up our prayer.  

Our little baby girl, so innocent and full of love and light, had learned something
new, something we never intentionally taught her.  She learned simply by watching us in
our day to day lives, she learned by observing the example we have set for her.  For all
the times I feel like I have failed, moments such as these remind me that we just might be
doing something right after all.  There will always be instances of failure, places in our
lives where we will be lacking, but those are just speed bumps along the way.  The real
moments to hold onto are the moments when my family inadvertently tells me thank you,
when they show me through their own actions that all of my hard work is
actually accomplishing something.  Those moments keep me going, pull me from my
slump, and make me sing Amen.  Those moments remind me that working hard and
putting good energy out into the universe does not go unnoticed.   

While we try to teach our children all about life,

Our children teach us what life is all about.

~Angela Schwindt