Since last week's tragedy, I find myself struggling through the Christmas season:
feeling guilty over the joy I feel with my family, crying daily as I think of the people who
lost their lives and the families they left behind. I just can't seem to wrap my mind
around such sadness and my heart feels pulled every time I think of Newtown. I know that
I am not alone. Everywhere I go, every person I meet, it seems to be the first thing we
talk about and reflect on, lamenting over the sadness that has swept this country. I
suppose that this shared compassion, this feeling of connection amongst friends and
family and neighbors and total strangers, that is what we will all remember this
Christmas for. It will be the year we hopefully all slow down just a bit and opened up
our hearts, taking in each moment, each second, and appreciating what we have rather
than anticipating what we want. This year, we will linger around the Christmas tree and
feel grateful that we are here, all together, living this life. We will carry on the memory
of those 26 people who lost their lives by living our own lives just a little bit better.
feeling guilty over the joy I feel with my family, crying daily as I think of the people who
lost their lives and the families they left behind. I just can't seem to wrap my mind
around such sadness and my heart feels pulled every time I think of Newtown. I know that
I am not alone. Everywhere I go, every person I meet, it seems to be the first thing we
talk about and reflect on, lamenting over the sadness that has swept this country. I
suppose that this shared compassion, this feeling of connection amongst friends and
family and neighbors and total strangers, that is what we will all remember this
Christmas for. It will be the year we hopefully all slow down just a bit and opened up
our hearts, taking in each moment, each second, and appreciating what we have rather
than anticipating what we want. This year, we will linger around the Christmas tree and
feel grateful that we are here, all together, living this life. We will carry on the memory
of those 26 people who lost their lives by living our own lives just a little bit better.
We were privileged to attend Isabelle's Christmas Pageant at school on Tuesday, Shawn
and I in the very front row. It was an amazing adaptation of the Christmas story with
angels and sheppards and wise men and cattle. The sound of those children singing
"Silent Night" by candle light gave me goosebumps through and through, their angel
voices exalting as they celebrated this most blessed season. We were so proud of our
girl: front and center and singing so loudly I swear I could pick her voice out of the
crowd. She was most excited that two of the songs in their program were in French,
knowing how much it would mean to me to hear her Cajun roots. I cried during the
play, thinking of all those parents who have lost a child, thankful to have Shawn sitting
next to me instead of what could have been. And as I sang along, "Sleep in heavenly
peace", I closed my eyes and let the tears wash over me. Thankful, blessed, sad, helpless,
all in one. This Christmas, may we allow ourselves the space to grieve, to feel compassion
for others, and to be filled with peace and love.
and I in the very front row. It was an amazing adaptation of the Christmas story with
angels and sheppards and wise men and cattle. The sound of those children singing
"Silent Night" by candle light gave me goosebumps through and through, their angel
voices exalting as they celebrated this most blessed season. We were so proud of our
girl: front and center and singing so loudly I swear I could pick her voice out of the
crowd. She was most excited that two of the songs in their program were in French,
knowing how much it would mean to me to hear her Cajun roots. I cried during the
play, thinking of all those parents who have lost a child, thankful to have Shawn sitting
next to me instead of what could have been. And as I sang along, "Sleep in heavenly
peace", I closed my eyes and let the tears wash over me. Thankful, blessed, sad, helpless,
all in one. This Christmas, may we allow ourselves the space to grieve, to feel compassion
for others, and to be filled with peace and love.
3 comments:
" It will be the year we hopefully all slow down just a bit and opened upour hearts, taking in each moment, each second, and appreciating what we have rather
than anticipating what we want." ...wow, yes...amen! This is wonderful, and I feel the same way this year. I love the pictures...Isabelle looks so sweet! :) Hope you have a blessed Christmas!
Beautiful words, my friend. Thanks for sharing.
that first picture of isabelle smiling at you from the chorus is so sweet. i'm melting!
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