Just Keep Moving

When I was pregnant with River, I often joked to friends and family members that we'd see them in about a year.  "We won't be leaving the house for a while" was the feeling I had every time I thought about packing up three kids, two in diapers, one breastfeeding, all three on different schedules.  Just thinking about squeezing our new family of five into my Prius made me nervous: would our new (old) double stroller even fit into the hatch back? Would we miss the whole party before I was even able to get them all dressed and loaded into their seats?

But our little family has surprised me.  I have been much more calm and patient this time around, letting a lot of things go and practicing grace as much as possible.  Naturally, the kids followed suit, their energy a direct reflection of a mama learning to let her OCD tendencies go.  Shawn and I have teamed up now more than ever to tackle things around the house, hollering out "team work!!" when things get particularly chaotic and we feel the need to redirect everyone.  And our consistency and love of routine has created a natural rhythm for the whole family, resulting in the kids' sleeping and eating schedules all getting on the same page much quicker than we ever could have anticipated.  We are learning, day by day, how to get things done, let things go, and laugh at all of the in betweens.  It is a growing experience for all of us.

And I'm not scared or nervous anymore.  What's the worse that could happen?  They cry? Throw temper tantrums in public?  People stare at me while I nurse the baby at the zoo? Someone has an accident?  I forget to pack essential items? Well, all of that has already happened and we're still alive and well and functioning just fine.  There's no need to worry about what could happen or how hard it will be to take them all out together: I know that we can handle anything.  We may be exhausted and confused half the time but we can handle it nonetheless.  This is just normal parenting stuff, it goes with the territory.  Later, we'll tell great stories about the time we took the whole family out and we all spent the entire trip crying, whining, and miserable.  But we were there, we were together, and we were making memories.  That's all that really matters.

This new, adventurous and optimistic attitude of mine has resulted in some pretty great weekends lately.  We've learned to keep the activities short and sweet: don't expect miracles from these little people.  They get tired and overstimulated very easily and it's best not to push them too far.  Where it's in my nature to say "Just 5 more minutes" or "Let's walk a little bit further", I've learned to scale back and keep it simple.  When in doubt, offer snacks.  Expect a normally 30 minute drive to now take 2 hours.  And most of all: laugh.  When they're all in the back seat howling and wiggling and hitting and acting out, try to laugh and keep it light.  Surprisingly, they usually stop acting like little tyrants and start laughing, too.   

This past weekend included a hiking trip through a state park near our home.  We packed a picnic lunch and made it a half day trip, leaving just as it was time for afternoon naps.  We arrived just as the early morning fog was lifting and the temperature was still cool.  Shawn and I created a scavenger hunt for Belle and Brees, keeping them entertained as they were on the look out for the different animals and trees we called out to them.  And River slept through the whole trip.  River: the baby who encouraged me to just let it all go.  To be present.  To embrace the chaos.  My peaceful, soothing boy, teaching me about redemption more and more every day.

 

Weekends Are For

Weekends are for hanging out with big sisters and staying up late.  On Friday night, Isabelle and I caught up on this season of Project Runway and made chocolate chip cookies. River joined in on the party and even showed us his first real smile!  Isabelle is so good with him and it always surprises me how big she looks and how mature she seems when she is holding the baby.  My first baby, now a young lady.  

Weekends are for sleeping in, by infant standards anyway.  With no alarm clocks going off, no school buses to catch, and no schedule to keep, we were all able to sleep in until 7:30 on Saturday: baby included.  What a dream life!  We have a cosleeper for our bed that fits right between Shawn and I but, most nights, River ends up right next to Mama.  Who could resist those lips and that chin dimple?  Certainly not me!

Weekends are for cooking with my husband.  This guy: he's the best friend I could ever hope for.  Going back to work will be hard not only because I will miss the babies but because I will miss spending my days with Shawn.  We have had so much fun together these last few months and I am grateful to have a dude whose company I love so much. Our new favorite past time: waiting until the kids go to sleep to bake a batch of brownies, bring said brownies to the couch, eat and talk and watch whatever we want on TV.  Those are our date nights these days and let me tell you: we cherish them dearly. Someone recently told me: enjoy this time with your husband, even though it seems hectic and crazy and you don't get to be alone very much. Enjoy it anyway because it is special in its own way.  I agree, a million times over I agree.

Weekends are for getting dressed up in your Sunday best and going to Mass as a family. Getting a family of five dressed and out of the house and in our pew by 9:15 am on Sunday is not an easy task by any means but we do it every single week because it is important to us.  We need that spiritual check in every week, we need that time together as a family to be still and present with Christ.  Did you know that Catholic churches do not have nurseries or daycares for children?  That our children sit in the main church and participate in the entire service from the time they are infants?  One of my good friends asked me about this recently, astonished that this was even possible.  How can young children be expected to sit through an hour long church service?  WHY would you even want to do that?  The philosophy my mother always gave me of why we do this: because children are a part of the Mass just as much as adults.  Because they should be allowed to enjoy the celebration of the Eucharist just as much as we should.  Because Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these". Is it possible for them to sit still and behave?  Yes, it most certainly is.  Even though that means I sometimes spend the whole Mass shushing, rocking, giving "mom" eyes, stepping outside, taking potty breaks, etc.  That is my vocation as a mother.  And all of those lessons in discipline and patience are rewarded in moments such as the one we had yesterday when Brees sang "Alleluia!!!" so loud that the entire congregation turned to look at her and smiled and gave her the thumbs up.  I looked down at a sleeping River, Isabelle on the alter serving next to Father, and Brees reciting her Our Father and I knew that we are doing something right.  All of the normal parental guilt aside, we are doing something right.

 

Wear Them

In honor of International Baby Wearing Week, I wanted to share some of my favorite photos from my Instagram of baby River in his two favorite places: the Ergo and the Solly Wrap.   

My passion for baby wearing runs almost as deep as my passion for breast feeding. Wearing my babies has made the postpartum period so much easier with all of those hormones releasing due to that crazy good skin to skin contact.  It allows me to be hands free and able to tend to older siblings and household responsibilities.  And best of all, nothing calms a fussy River like placing him in his wrap and getting some fresh air. I love to smell the top of his head and sneak in a kiss or two while I go about my day, I love to feel him close to me as he watches the world in the safety of my arms.  Even as I sit here typing this post, my baby boy is snoring against my chest in his wrap.  Content and happy and close.  

Cheers to wearing them!

Currently

Mailing...birth announcements and thank you cards.  River is so kind and patient when it comes to photo shoots and I had the best time taking photos and mailing them out to friends and family.   

Looking...very postpartum these days.  I've lost most of my pregnancy weight but things look a little bit off, if you know what I mean.  It's as if the postpartum body is a puzzle whose pieces don't quite fit together anymore.  My boobs are huge so most of my tops don't fit.  My hips are still wide so most of my pants don't fit.  And my abs, oh sweet baby Jesus, my abs.  Will they ever be the same?  I am practicing grace and patience with myself and remembering the old mantra: nine months up, nine months down.  This body has done some amazing work and it deserves to be loved regardless of my ability to wear my skinny jeans or not.  

Wearing...lots of leggings with tunics, maxi skirts, and flowy tops.  I have two pairs of maternity shorts that I am still wearing, begrudgingly so.  Most days at home, I am in yoga pants and tshirts and loving every minute of it.  I am thankful that when I return to work in a few weeks, I have the luxury of wearing scrubs everyday.  This definitely helps with the postpartum transition.

Making...yummy dinners thanks to my maternity leave status.  Being able to cook dinner without the pressure of rushing home from work is absolutely priceless!  I am able to start my dinner much earlier, usually when the little kids go down for their naps, and then I am able to have everything on the table before anyone can have a low blood sugar meltdown. I will miss this luxury when I go back to work.  This week's favorites: Tomato basil chicken with pasta, pork loin wrapped in bacon with onion, garlic, rosemary, and eggplant pizza.  

Reading...

An excellent article explaining ObamaCare.

Elizabeth is back and damn is her blog good.  One of my absolute favorites.

"When I Have Kids I Will Never".  HA!  Yeah right.

25 Habits I strive to practice on the regular.

Tiny drunk adults sounds completely right on.

Birth world caricatures: these generalizations drive me crazy.

Stereotypes about New Orleans that could not be further from the truth.  I actually had to google "mint julep" when a friend of mine from Ohio kept insisting that since I'm from the South, mint juleps should be a regularly served beverage in my household.  Not true, friends.

I hope that I am as wise as my mother someday.

I remember going to see Clueless in the theater with a bunch of my girlfriends the summer I turned 16.  That Cher was a smart cookie.

This synopsis of Whole Foods made me laugh out loud.

A super informative parenting blog written with heart.

If I knew then what I know now...

Working on...our garden and revamping the front of our house.  This week, I planted mustard and collard greens, cabbage, and broccoli.  We painted our front door red, ripped out all of the hedges in front of our house, and tore down the railings between the columns on the front porch.  Next up: repaint the shutters, columns, and light fixtures.  Here is the inspiration board for our project.

Watching...the new seasons of Parenthood, Vampire Diaries, and football galore.  The Walking Dead premiers on Sunday night, woohoo!

Linking up with the lovely Randalin

Songs That Take You Places: Use Somebody

For our nine year wedding anniversary, I wanted to do something big, something special. Kings of Leon were performing in Dallas on our big day and I decided to splurge and surprise Shawn with a super secret weekend away.  I ordered tickets, booked a hotel room, made dinner reservations, and instructed my man to hold on tight: we were going on an adventure.

This was a big year for us: I was starting a new job at the hospital, Shawn had just gotten a promotion at work, we bought our house, renovated it and moved in.  It was a time of transition for us and we were excited and encouraged and full of energy.  All of those changes brought stress and anxiety right along with them, though, and we spent many nights up late plugging in numbers and figuring things out.  The new responsibilities that accompany growing careers and home ownership sometimes left us feeling like we were going through some kind of an identity crisis.  Who were we now with our professional titles and bills and expectations?  Not the wandering, wild, and free Shawn and Liv of the past, that was for sure.  We were putting down roots and making a new life for our family, we were diving into something that went a little deeper into our commitment to each other.  It was scary and exciting all at the same time.

I wanted our weekend in Dallas to be an escape from all that.  I wanted us to just run away for a while and be spontaneous, to forget about our to do lists and schedules and just be Shawn and Liv for a few days.  I didn't tell Shawn where we were going, I simply plugged the address of our hotel into the GPS and told him to drive.  What a good sport he was, following along like that.  

We took our time driving, stopping along the way as much as we felt like it.  He didn't know what we were doing in Dallas but he was excited nonetheless.  We lounged around our hotel room, taking our first nap in months.  There's something so lux about staying in a hotel and taking naps when you are away from your kids, it feels so indulgent. We went out for a big Texas style steak dinner, holding hands and hiding away in a booth in the back.

I was so nervous during dinner, knowing that we were headed to the show soon.  The secret was almost too much to contain and I ALMOST told him where we were going next, almost.  I held it in, though, looking forward to the look on his face when I handed him his ticket.  I love surprising the people I love.

"Where are we headed next, babe?", he asked, so patient and down for anything.  

"Drive to this address", I replied, my excitement and nervous jitters so strong I could barely sit still.  

As we made our way to the theater where KOL was playing, "Use Somebody" came on the radio.  He reached over and turned the volume up, took my hand and winked.  We loved that song from the first time we heard it.  

I've been roaming around,
always looking down and all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

We were so deep in the moment, that beautiful song playing so loudly mixed with the sounds of our voices singing along, Shawn didn't even notice that we were pulling up to the venue where the Kings Of Leon were playing.  The parking attendant asked for his ticket and he just looked over at me, completely confused.  I turned the music down, handed him his ticket, and watched as he read over it, still perplexed.

"Babe, what are we doing?  What is this?  Are we?  Wait.. This is.."

"Yes!!  YES!!  We're going inside to see KOL!!  Let's go!!"

It was the best night, the best surprise.  He was completely knocked off his feet and never suspected a thing.  We parked the car and literally ran hand in hand all the way to our seats, giggling like two kids without a care in the world.  The show was amazing and we were up on our feet the whole time, dancing and swaying to that beautiful music. During "Use Somebody", the crowd sang along so loudly that the band actually stood back and let us take over.  The energy was palpable.  I remember his arms wrapped around me so tightly that I could barely breath, I remember him whispering the words "thank you" to me at least a hundred times.  

Every time I hear that song, I think of that weekend, the weekend I pulled off the best surprise ever.  It was our time to live it up and be free, to feel spontaneous again. After nine years of marriage, sometimes you need a little adventure to remind yourself of how lucky you are to have a partner in crime, to have someone who trusts you enough to drive six hours without a clue of where he is going.  

You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Taking The Power Back

The last few months have been a bit chaotic for our family, to say the least.  Pregnancy while working full time, Shawn's surgery, a multitude of house guests, and then the birth of our son: we've been busy and full of transition.  We've been in survival mode, all of us working hard and making sacrifices in order to keep our family strong.  In times of survival, we've found it works best to keep things simple, to pick our battles, and to be empathetic towards one another.  We've learned to overlook certain things in order to see the bigger picture.

Eventually, however, the fog begins to clear and we are suddenly able to see our situation in all its chaotic beauty.  We had that moment last week, Shawn and I both sitting with our heads in our hands as we watched both of our girls throw temper tantrums in the front yard while literally fighting over the water hose.  We looked at each other and knew: it was time to take the power back.  The house, the kids, the routine, the discipline: everything was a bit out of sorts.  While we've been working hard at just getting by and making it through the day, things have gotten a little too out of control for our liking.  Brees went on strike from potty training, telling us point blank that she was DONE using the potty, forever.  She started throwing epic temper tantrums every time we asked her to get dressed, choosing to instead wear princess dress up outfits all day every day. Those pink tutus are cute for the first day or so but this has been going on for weeks. Isabelle was rolling her eyes and pouting and whispering under her breathe so much that I began to wonder if she had developed some kind of tick or something. They've watched more TV in the last few months than I care to admit and had Pop Tarts for breakfast on the regular.    There was storming up the stairs and multiple doors slamming.  We were running late because we spent so much time arguing over who was wearing what, where's your book bag, these shoes don't fit anymore, etc.  And they were acting out in all their unruly glory knowing full well that we were too tired and busy to really call them out on it.  In other words, they've been living it up, kid style.

And it's our fault.  And we know it.  The first step in fixing this kind of chaos is to call yourself out and come to terms with your tired approach to parenting.  The second step is to give yourself a break and know that you're not a shitty parent just because your daughter can recite an entire episode of Dora.  It's okay, you're doing your best here, no one ever died from eating gummy worms for dinner.  The third step is to have a good laugh about the crayon drawing on the bathroom wall and then decide to turn it all around. Together.  Shawn and I stayed up late one night talking it all through.  Actually, who am I kidding here, River kept us up all night and we used that opportunity to work out a plan for how we would take the power back.  

We held a family meeting the next morning, all five of us present, and laid the cards out on the table.  We assured the girls that we love them, that we understand the emotions they must be going through with all the changes our family has endured lately, and that we are going to reinstate all of our normal policies and procedures because we love them and want them to have the familiar sense of routine again.  It would require some hard work and discipline to get back on track, but, together we would make it happen.

1.  Brees is no longer allowed to throw tantrums regarding her clothing choices each morning.  I ordered her a hanging clothing organizer for her room that has a pocket for clothes for each day of the week.  I will allow her to help me choose her outfits for the week and then we will put them in the organizer on Sunday night.  If she throws a tantrum when it's time to get dressed, she will have to follow our time out protocol.

2.  The TV has been turned off.  TV time must be earned through chores, good grades, and good behavior.  If rules are followed and expectations are met, the TV will be turned on to parent approved shows at parent approved times.  

3.  Sassy talking, eye rolling, feet stomping, and door slamming are not acceptable behavior.  Respect must be shown to all members of the family: parents AND children.  If anyone in the family exhibits this type of behavior, they will be disciplined accordingly.

 4.  Potty training is back on in full force.  Brees was almost completely potty trained when River was born with the exception of a few accidents.  I understand that her regression is a completely normal reaction to her little brother's arrival so we are taking our time and giving her lots of praise and encouragement.

5.  Chores have been reinstated, our family calendar is back on the wall, and my daily reminder checklist is back up on the kitchen chalkboard.

6.  Isabelle will start doing her homework in our office instead of at the kitchen table.  This will help eliminate the frustration she feels when the little kids are making too much noise while she is concentrating on her work and will allow her to have some time to decompress after school.

7.  Shawn and I promise to put River in his bassinet in our room after he falls asleep rather than holding him in the living room.  This will allow us to spend some one on one quality time with the girls in the evening, giving them the attention they so desperately need and deserve.

We promised the girls that if they could give us a solid, 100% effort for the week, we would reward them with a trip to the zoo on Saturday.  We were not after perfection, we just wanted to see positive changes and good attitudes.  The girls embraced this challenge wholeheartedly, both of them visibly relieved to have their normal routines and rules back in place.  There were a few tears and tantrums but, overall, they nailed it.  And the whole house felt it.  We all slept better, relaxed more, and yelled less.  And best of all, we were able to visit the zoo on Saturday as promised!!

Of course, on the way home from the zoo, Brees pissed her pants, Belle mocked me, and River cried so much that we had to pull over 3 times in just 20 minutes.  But, it's okay, we're a work in progress.  We are starting a new chapter in our lives together and learning the fine art of coexisting.  With consistency, patience, and grace, we will restore harmony in our family one day at a time.  Until then, cheers to the beauty of imperfections!