Together

As we were getting the little kids dressed after bath time, I excitedly told Shawn about Brees and her new found love of the solar system.  At three years old, she can recite all eight planets and tell you little facts about each one.  "Venus has no water and Saturn has rings made of ice!" she told me this morning over breakfast, all things she learned from a series of videos we've been watching.  Shawn and I hugged her and complimented her, so proud of the way she latched onto this new information, adding to her growing collection of facts and lessons learned.  Her three year old mind is just soaking up every piece of information we can give her and it is an amazing process to witness.

But then Belle stepped in, a look of hurt on her face, "I can recite all of the planets, too!".  She was upset and defensive, the attention her sister was getting like a slap in her face.  She felt left out, overshadowed.

I hugged her close, empathetic towards her feelings as I have felt them myself with my own siblings. "I know that you do" I said to her, squeezing her close.  We let her know that we were proud of her, too, but that this conversation had nothing to do with whether or not SHE knew something, it was about something that Brees did.  Celebrating a victory for one sister does not mean that we are expressing disappointment in the other sister.  One has nothing to do with the other.  "I know" she said, looking down at her feet.  "I just felt kind of, you know...".

We know.  We understand.  And it's okay.  This is how it goes with siblings.  Each member of a family is different: different strengths, different weaknesses, certain qualities that are all their own.  Sometimes it feels that one person in particular just has it all together, rising to the occasion at every golden opportunity.  Some people are just naturally more charismatic than others, some people have to work really hard while others just seem to flow right through life.  Sometimes you get lots of attention, other days make you wonder if anyone even knows you're alive.

"God created each and every one of us in His image", I said to Belle.  He made us all special and perfectly unique.  He gave each of us something extraordinary, something that makes us exactly who we are supposed to be.  But, more importantly, He put certain people in our lives on purpose.  This family, it is no accident.  We are all here together, living this life, because we were meant to journey as a team, our own little tribe.  Whatever you are lacking, your sister is here to lift you up.  When she or your brother are in need, you are just the girl to run to their rescue.  Sibling rivalry, feelings of jealousy or inadequacy: these are all normal feelings that everyone experiences. Don't let it get you down, though.  For there is no greater love than the love of your brother and sister.

When I think back on my childhood: my siblings are the ones who hold my heart so dear.  Late night talks after Mama thought we were asleep, long summer night bike rides, adventures in the woods, sneaking out to the high school after party that we weren't supposed to go to: those are the memories that shape so much of my early life.  And I want my kids to know that love, to feel that connection, to experience that sense of belonging.  There will be times, I am sure, when their relationships are not always so close and sweet.  But the love they share right now, the foundation that they are building as they spend hours playing Barbies together, those are the times that will always lead them home.  To each other.

 

A Summer Recipe For Fun

A recipe for how to fill your summer days:

Ingredients needed:

2 sisters (additional siblings/friends welcomed and encouraged)
1 giant pile of dirt
Various sand toys/kitchen tools stolen from Mom
Buckets of water 
Parents who don't care how dirty you get, as long as you are having fun
A big family dog to help you dig holes

Instructions:

Plop yourself in the middle of the pile of dirt with your toys and have at it.

Forget any and all rules, your imaginations are in charge.

There are no time limits, Mom and Dad are watching you from the garden and they will let
you know when it's time to come inside.

Make lots of mud, it is the key ingredient for mud pies.

Don't worry about getting your clothes dirty: that's what the water hose is for.

Laugh with your sister and make lots of memories.  The two of you have a relationship like
no other and it deserves to be celebrated.  You are such lucky girls to have each other.

 

They Are Loved

Raising children can be a difficult and tiring process.  These precious little beings
require constant time, attention, and energy, something I give them willingly and with
great joy.  But there are days when I feel like I'm not doing enough, like I've missed
something in all the hustle and bustle we call life.  I go to bed at night and wonder: Did I
hug them enough? Did I make them feel special?  Do they know how much I love them?

Especially during times such as these, times when our family is struggling with health
issues and stress and worry.  I am not able to give my girls 100% of my energy right
now because their Daddy needs a little extra attention.  The scales are a bit tipped off
balance and it's not in their favor.  And I struggle with that.  I wanted to give them the
perfect summer, I wanted to spend long afternoons doing whatever we felt like doing with
no deadlines or agendas.  I wanted to give them my all before the baby got here.  But then
real life had to get in the way and ruin my picture perfect mommy ideas.

I had these thoughts going through my head yesterday afternoon after I dropped Shawn off
at physical therapy and headed home to spend an hour with the girls in the back yard.  I
drank a cup of tea and watched them run and dance, riding their bikes and playing in their
little garden.  Isabelle and I talked and laughed while Brees entertained us with
her adventurous antics.  And I saw them for who they truly are: selfless, loving,
beautiful daughters who are happy and well adjusted.  They aren't missing anything
because they have two parents who adore them to the best of their ability.  The happiness
that shines from their hearts is palpable at times, instantly cheering me up from my
looming funk.  When things get tough and a family member is down, they have learned the
fine art of stepping up to the plate and being there.  They have learned through the example
we have set.  They aren't crying over what they don't have, they instead rejoice over
the moment in which they are living.

Sometimes, if you can slow your mind down just a little bit and take in the simplicity of
your children, you can learn invaluable life lessons from their innocence.  Sometimes, you
can learn to love and accept yourself simply because THEY accept YOU. 

 

Wordful Wednesday: Pumpkin Girls

Finally, after nearly 6 months of temperatures in the 90s and above, fall has officially 
arrived in Louisiana!!  The windows have been thrown open, pumpkin spice candles are lit 
in every room, and I cooked my very best soup to date: beef and vegetable with every 
single ingredient purchased from our local vegetable co-op.  Isabelle and I 
finished homework duties at lightening speed last week so that we could catch an hour 
of sunshine before dance class.  We walked over to the little pumpkin patch at our 
church and I let the girls pick out pumpkins and a few gourds.  These photos are an 
amazing representation of life with my two girls lately: Isabelle prancing around with 
her head in the clouds, dancing and singing to herself as she acts out the musical that 
exists inside her extraordinary imagination.  And Brees, my sweet little baby who has 
grown into a toddler overnight, running at full speed the second I point my camera into 
her general direction, covering her face with a diva-like "No pictures please" attitude.  
They have such different personalities and I'm not sure if it is because of their age 
difference or if they are just truly different people.  Only time will tell, I suppose.  Until 
then, we will treasure these moments of Belle's super size grins and the glimpses of the 
back of Brees' head as she heads for the hills.   

 

Currently

Currently...

Achieving...career goals.  It is still incredibly unbelievable to me that in the middle 
of this gigantic shit storm that has overtaken our lives these last few months, I recently got 
a significant job promotion.  My company is growing and expanding by leaps and 
bounds and recently opened up a new branch 10 minutes away from our house.  Guess 
who was selected to be the field RN for the entire branch?  ME!  Yes, the woman with two 
small kids and a sick husband has been entrusted to lead a team, open up a brand new 
office, and expand a company.  On top of that, I have also been placed in charge of training 
all new nurses that come through our division.  What?  Apparently I have everyone fooled 
into believing that I am totally put together and trust worthy.  I am counting every single 
one of my lucky stars and working my fingers to the bone to not let these people who have 
so graciously put their trust in me down.  What an amazing opportunity.

Reading..."The Maze Runner" series by James Dashner.  It is an incredibly 
bizarre series that leaves me feeling both intrigued and frustrated simultaneously.  I just 
can't get enough of post-Apocalyptic world stories.

Listening to...The Civil Wars.  This is some of the most beautiful music I've 
heard in a long time, completely stripped down and wrapped in love and passion and 
beauty.  They make me miss my husband's guitar playing but also inspire me to pick up 
my own guitar again and bust out some harmonies with my lover.

Enjoying...my daughters.  They are both at such interesting stages of their 
lives: Isabelle has matured so much and is a wonderful conversationalist.  We sit together 
at the kitchen table every night, doing homework and drinking herbal tea.  She loves 
blueberry vanilla with a teaspoon of local honey.  She feels big with her very own mug, 
loves that we have such a special time to share with one another every night.  Brees is 
really starting to communicate and has finally started talking.  She can say at least a 
dozen words now, my favorite being "mama".  That moment when your baby looks at 
you, reaches her hands up, and says "mama": it's soul touching.

   

 

Sweet Friday

Last night, I completely forgot about bed time.  This was not a very Liv thing to do: I tend
to run a pretty tight ship around here.  Our family has a natural flowing schedule, our
girls have rules and know about consequences, we all have chores and responsibilities.  But,
on this particular night, our ship took a detour.  Our yearly Halloween costume
catalogue came in the mail and we sat at the kitchen table looking through all of the
costumes, making plans for the holiday, and eating a late night snack: cereal, of course.
I glanced up at the clock a few times, noticing the hour and realizing that my girls were up
way later than normal.  But then I would look back at them and how happy they were,
sharing their cereal and looking at prospective costumes, their heads bent together in
sisterly love.  Screw the schedule, there were important things we needed to discuss.
Should the girls be matching leopards or should they go as Little Bo Peep and her long
lost sheep?  What nail polish should Belle wear this week and hey, listen to what Brees
just said!

We didn't play by the rules that night. Instead, we took our time and lived in the
moment.  These two little girls love each other so much and bring such joy and light to my
day.  I love watching them interact, their love for each other growing deeper and
stronger every day.  They are sisters, they are bonded.  And they are very, very serious
about Cheerios and Halloween.  As well they should be.

Sisters

Girls and Giggles

I was folding laundry yesterday, deep in the trenches of the laundry room, lists
running through my head, thoughts of tasks I still needed to get done, phone calls  I needed
to make.  I was so deep in thought, remembering all the things I needed to do, until I
heard the funniest, sweetest sound in the whole wide world: my little girls giggling.  I put
the towel I was folding down, listening intently to their voices ringing through the
house, shrieking in delight.  I followed their laughter straight down the hall, smiling to
myself at how happy they sounded, how adorably sweet.

This is what I found when I got to the kitchen:

Isabelle Grace put her little sister in her baby doll's stroller and was taking her on a joy
ride around the house!  And Brees was having the time of her life!  I burst out laughing
when I saw them, Brees just going along with whatever her big sister got her into.  Belle
had carefully strapped her baby sister in, instructed her to "HOLD ON!!",
and off they went.  

As Brees gets bigger, they are really enjoying each other more, becoming the best of
friends.  I can see them conspiring against their Daddy and I really soon, getting into all
kinds of mischief the way only siblings can.

I completely forgot about the laundry, the lists, the phone calls, and all the other stress
that had been cluttering up my mind.  Instead, I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea
and watched my girls go 'round and 'round, laughing right along with them.  It was a
beautiful morning filled with the most precious sounds.  And I was reminded yet again to
slow down, take it easy, and appreciate the moment.

And what a moment it was.